photo sourceFirstly, I was going to title this entry: Compassion vs. Setting Limits, but it hit me, these two areas (amongst others in our lives) should not be put up against eachother, instead, somehow work together. It's easy to feel conflicted and confused when we pull ourselves in two or multiple directions. The challenge comes when trying to make situations, thoughts, feelings work in harmony rather than against eachother. Setting limits to me is about not tolerating such behaviors or treatments from others that are negative in any way. It's knowing you are important, that you matter and you shouldn't be abused in any form, you shouldn't be made an option when you have made them a priority and so on. Which brings me to a very recent situation that inspired me to write about this topic: a man. A handsome and intelligent man at that, trust, on paper he looks great, unfortunately I didn't get to find out.
Subtle was his initial approach, and it was in essence his interest in me that eventually piqued my interest in him. (I can really appreciate men that are not thirsssty and only trying to get their holleration on). From the jump, he proclaimed his shy nature, and I took that into account. I experienced shyness in my teen years, and I knew how hard it could be to get the courage to speak or merely contact someone. So I understood when he wasn't aggressive or too forward. I decided this was a good guy and with a little nudge, figuratively speaking, maybe it would help him open up. I decided to put my big girl draws on and my pride aside. With that came some reaching out on my part; suggestions on things we could do, a couple text messages, and one phone call. Some texts got replied to, others didn't, the suggestions and the phone call went ignored. Anyone looking from the outside in would simply say... He is just not that into you! And you know, to some degree that is correct. I feel men are pretty simple creatures when it comes to women. I have a theory which is- either a man is feeling you or he is not. Women, mujeres, sisters! there is no reason to make a list, notify or convince a man on how fly you are; any man that truly sees your light will be attracted to you (and put in the necessary work).
At this point I had to realize: was I being compassionate or making excuses? I took a look at my limits and it just didn't sit right with me to be disregarded. So after a week, his number and any trace of him on my phone was erased. There is absolutely no reason for women to chase men (umm, please see theory above) if a man wants to get to know you, meet up for coffee or fly across the nation to see your face, he will do it!
Ok, ok so it was only a week, dramatic much? Not really. If one week was unproductive, why would I want to waste a month? And if this is any indication of how future communication will be, then surely I can do without it...
